| Greenpeace |
|
|
| 11:45am 12/02/2007 |
| |
mood:  thoughtful
|
I'm having to do a research paper on Greenpeace. Theres so many things involved in Greenpeace I could write about. I think I will write about Global Warming and how government paid scientist do not take it into consideration as being a natural disaster. They also do not think we, as an over-populated world is causing the rises in CO2 in the air. I want people's oppions on this matter. Do you think Global Warming is true, that it will occur? Or do you think it is just a cycle our world goes through?
Just a thought. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Yet again |
|
|
| 11:10am 26/01/2007 |
| |
mood:  curious
|
You would think with as many of the same senarios I have gone through, I would learn from them and quit putting myself in them. And that I would quit doing the same things once that senario has played out. when you go through shit, it is suppose to make you stronger. i feel weakened. I don't smoke anymore, yet my head still feels clouded. I was driving to school this morning and the sky looked so oddly fake. Like a computer generated sequence on a movie. Things use to look like that when I was so stoned out of my mind. I found it quite odd. Lately I have been in class, trying my damnedest to concentrate and I totally space out like I am high. My bro told me that when he was in boot camp for the marines, his back popped a certain way and he tripped a lil like from his acid trip years and years ago. I don't think that could be possible for pot. It is not that potent. At least not the shit I was smoking, unfortuneately. i just can't think of a reason why it is like that. Maybe I'm just stressing myself out again. I tend to do that also.
Well, toodle-loo. I'm gonna go to the clinic to see if it is normal to feel 'high'.
Love, your favorite redhead |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| The results of lust not love |
|
|
| 10:48am 22/01/2007 |
| |
mood:  numb
|
So I lost the one I loved for one I use to like. And I found out I had lost the one I really like a year ago for a douche I didn't even like. I also lost a best friend for the douche a year ago. My heart is broken. I can't feel it beating anymore. I will never love again. Truely love. And now I know, no guy will ever truely love me. Its ok, though, my 20 cats will comfort me in the future. Theres only one person in the world that would be happy for this entry and they are a bitch for that.
I should write on here more. Who reads it anyways? |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Tofurkey Day! |
|
|
| 07:52pm 22/11/2006 |
| |
mood:  calm
|
Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? I'm thankful for family, friends, my dude, Sophia, Bob, and black olives.
I can't believe November is almost over.
I can't believe the semester is almost over.
I can't believe the year is almost over.
I can't believe I'll be 19 in a month on Friday.
I can't believe it's not butter.
Hey, Rach. I love you!
Hey, Nicole. Target blows. I'm sorry you have to stay in Corpys tomorrow.
<3 Peace Niggas! |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 03:15pm 23/10/2006 |
| |
mood:  complacent
|
My heart strings are being pulled deeper and deeper into the lion's den. They are closer and closer to complete and utter distruction.
P.s. My volvo is swell and I'm stoked to be driving and have the freedom to do whatever the fuck I want. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Locked out |
|
|
| 01:20pm 03/10/2006 |
| |
mood:  annoyed
|
I left my stuff in my friend Marshall's dorm room. The door to his dorm is unlocked, but the door to the building can only be acsessed by a card and password. Marshall's gone to tutor. I left my phone at home. At least it'll be fully charged for the rest of the day. I was going to go work out. But I'm not motivated to. I did go up 7 flights of stairs in Concho hall to see if my friend Lauren would want to go work out with me. She was in class. So i went down 7 flights of stairs. I have to admit, I was breathing heavily. I swear to God if I get my freshman 15 I will scream. I can't get fat!! haha. Anyways. What am i going to do? I'm in such a pickle. I guess I'll walk back to the dorms and wait outside for someone to go in or out. I'm such a loser.
P.s. My dad put new break pads on yesterday. He's HOPEFULLY putting the tires back on and taking my volvo to get inspected. Hahaha. One can only hope.
Love your wonderfully retarded redhead |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| the best way to get to my heart is to call me darlin |
|
|
| 01:01pm 28/09/2006 |
| |
mood:  contemplative
|
An intellegent (asshole) once told me that the people who seem to have it all, have the most problems. Last night my friend told me everything about me that I had wanted everyone to see. He told me how strong I was. He said I was firm in my views and oppinions and didn't give a fuck what others thought. He said I was his hero. I asked how can I seem so strong when I feel so weak? Why is your perception of yourself so different then everyone elses? I don't know. I hope I can see what he sees in me someday. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| This scar is a freck on my porceline skin |
|
|
| 12:37pm 26/09/2006 |
| |
mood:  depressed
|
SO, he told me he couldn't be with anyone that would bring him down in anyway. He said he had to much going for him. This was after I told him I was depressed and vulnerable and I should have informed him on this matter before we had started talking. I thought I was passed a lot of issues. I thought I could move on and open my heart up a little and not get attached. What kind of coping techniques did I do in return? The usual things I do when a boy gives up on me. I make a new incission and cry myself to sleep. In psychology, they said to laugh at your situation and you'll feel better about it in the long run. HOW CAN HIM LEAVING BE FUNNY!!! I don't know. I couldn't laugh. It was all I could do to keep from crying. My bro told me to take time for myself. God is shouting at me to take time for myself. Be alone. My ex fucked me up emotionally. Every guy before him fucked me up. Do I learn? No. I just want to be loved and held. I want someone to tell me how beautiful I am and hold my hand and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I want to make love and be served breakfast in bed in the morning. But that is only in movies. That is only going to be in the books I write to motivate other people. I will motivate people to do better out of my misery. Maybe one day, when I'm done with college, I will meet a nice vegetarian boy that has an education and a heart as big and torn as mine. We will embrace eachother's faults and heal and make them new. It will happen for me. Stephanie Ann Ward will fall in love someday. ...someday
P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSIE! I hope you have a great 17th birthday. I'm sorry I couldn't buy you a hotel room and beer and everclear like last year. I love you. :)
Love,
Your hopeless romantic. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Sitel Picnic |
|
|
| 07:18pm 24/09/2006 |
| |
mood:  content
|
You may think I am lame, but yesterday was the first time I have been on a boat on the water. I met this guy named Nathan at the Sitel Picnic yesterday. He gave me some wonderful crown. After the picnic, we went on an awesome boat ride with his friends. We were able to go tubing also. It was so much fun. I want to buy a boat now. I hope the Christmas party is as Krunk as the picnic. Alcohol+ kareokee= great fun!!
All in all, I had a good weekend. I had a lil direaha of the mouth when the crown had hit, but it happens. Ha.
Later players.
Stephypoo |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| School. Work.Sleep. Masterbate. |
|
|
| 03:42pm 22/09/2006 |
| |
mood:  drained
|
I have no time to talk my friends. I feel like I'm pulling away, but I don't mean to. I really don't. I miss seeing everyone everyday. I miss getting krunk with my krunk friends. I don't have time for anyone. I haven't really met any knew people at ASU. Two guy friends and two girl friends. I don't really want to meet anyone new. They'll just interfere with my school work. Unless they're smart and they can help me. New friends cause me to neglect my old friends. Maybe if my car wasn't a piece of fucking shit, i could get around to seeing everyone once in awhile. But alas I need new break pads and rotars. Of course. Whatever. One day I will have it all. One day I will have mula out the wazoo. Just kidding. I want to be very comfortable. I want everything my parents couldn't buy me. I want true love. blah. I'm rambling. I'm gonna take a nap. My brain is shot.
Love all. Serve all.
Your infamous redhead
P.s. My grades so far are for shit. I need a painting class so that 100 will bring up my GPA. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Sitel blows |
|
|
| 11:44pm 19/09/2006 |
| |
mood:  sick
|
I've got the sniffles and it sucks. I usually sanitize my station at work, but the one day I don't, I get someone's sniffles! Well, I sneezed the shit out of that keyboard today! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! I hope I get my incentives soon. I get a dollar a sell, and no telling how many I've gotten in the past 2 and a 1/2 months. On my next paycheck, I'll have been at Sitel for 3 months. Its really not that bad. You have to be pretty incompitent to be fired. My mom is suppose to get $500 for me putting her down as a reference. She better split that with me!! Well, I better sleep so I can get over this cold!!
Love ya.
Stephypoo |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| toga madness! |
|
|
| 01:49pm 16/09/2006 |
| |
mood:  amused
|
I went to the toga party last night with my friend, Marshall and this joe fool. Since we were underage and didn't think we could just waltz in there carrying our 30, we went to wal-mart to get oil changing parts and duct tape. I'm pretty sure the people of wal-mart put funnels and tubes together for such things as beer bongs. Joe is the master beer-bonger. He downed it in 3 seconds. I was like WTF! teach me your ways, Joe! I took like 12 secs. The toga party consisted of half naked soriety and frat boys and girls. I didn't exactly fit in, so I felt a bit akward. The bathroom didn't have stalls. There were tons of girls in there. I couldn't pee. This bald red-head tried hitting on me. He kept winking as he put his arm around me. I should have been like, your eye's spazing out. You should have that checked out. haha. I ended up telling him if he did want to get some, to look else-where. I don't think I'll be going to any further frat parties. I hate fake dumb bitches and dumb drunk bastards trying to get in my pants, because apparently I'm that drunk and dumb. I had 6 beers and was just standing there. Joe was like you impress me. Most girls drink 3 beers and are like I'm so drunk!!! I hate that. But ya. College parties aren't as awesome as I had hoped.
Later aligator.
Your favorite redhead |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| I forgot I had a livejournal |
|
|
| 01:25pm 11/09/2006 |
| |
mood: calm
|
So, Its been like a bizzilion years since I've updated last. I haven't been up to a whole lot. I started school at ASU, studying psychology. I've been working at Sitel for Reliant Energy. Its freaking easy. I'm not smoking pot anymore or doing drugs. I just drink on occassion. ANd by occassion, I mean only on the weekends. I'm not with anyone. The guy I was talking to pretty much told me I wasn't good enough. He was like I need a strong women. Ok. Fuck you too. I've still yet to have the Volvo completed. Hopefully by the end of this week, though, because my dad found the papers for it, like the title and stuff. He was like steph, you have it. Well, he found it on the desk in the living room. I was glad for it to be found, but annoyed that he had put it somewhere. Blah. But ya. I just wanted to drop in and say hello and see if anyone remembered me.
Later aligator.
That one redhead |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Rantings of insanity |
|
|
| 02:02pm 01/03/2006 |
| |
mood:  irritated
|
Sometimes i feel like i should be a therapist or a phychologist because I'm a good listener. I mean, thats all i do is listen. I give advice. But i don't get paid. I never get to talk. Everyone seems annoyed when i try to explain myself. So i'm giving up. I'm tired of making everyone elses decisions and not being able to think my own life out. I need to be secluded. I wish I had a working car and license so i could get away when i wanted. All i have time for is school and work. I hate denny's. I'm putting in my 2 week notice on friday. No one works there, like at all. I feel like I'm the only one doing everything. Most of the people who come into denny's are white trash or tweekin weirdos. I don't want to be like that and I'm sure if i keep working there, i will be. People probubly think i am for working there. I just wish i could run away, leave this town and everyone behind. I'd come back when i was calm and sorted out. I'd come back if i had a purpose. right now i feel like i dont have a purpose at all.
My friend, jennifer gave up meat for lent. That makes me happy. One less selfish meat eater. I'm sick and tired of people making fun of me for being a vegetarian. I'M A VEGETARIAN and I'm not gonna stop.
Things are so strange. I'm trying to figure out if its just me or is everyone different? I think its just me.
I hate livejournal. Myspace is dumb too. But addicting.
C ya. wouldn't want to be you... |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| I feel sensored |
|
|
| 01:49pm 22/02/2006 |
| |
mood:  high
|
last night i went to the carnival w/becca bear, and tommy. The lights were intensely flashing about. I couldn't believe how fun it was. I wasn't scared of any of the rides except the zipper. I was overwhemled with joy from the thrill of the rides. I want to go to six flags and all this spring break. that'd be excellent.
Alexis and i did pilates yesterday. They were intense. I bet those people are really flexible. hee hee I wish i had time to do them everyday.
I wanna write and listen to rock and roll all night and everyday.
Peace man. Keep it real. <3 steph |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Dear heart, i met a boy this weekend, prepare to shatter... |
|
|
| 01:55pm 20/02/2006 |
| |
mood:  bouncy
|
I have first period off now, and economics 4th. I got out of my advanced english class and into a regular one 7th. Yeah. So far it sucks. Most of the people in my 4th are dumb but i know a lot of them through the years. I hope i know someone in my 7th. Today sucks. I'm all moody and shit. It seems like everyone is mad at me. But I'm sure (I hope) its just me. Becca and Nicool and i are gonna go to the carnival tomorrow. Who's with us?
It seems like things are getting better. I was stressing internally so much about money and school. But I surrounded myself in this cloud haze of smoke. Maybe it'll clear and the need for it will lessen.
Joseph's B-day is friday. He's gonna be 23. he's also graduating from boot camp for the marines. I can't wait to see his scrawny scraggly ass all in shape and clean shaven.
My sister's birthday was the 16th. She would have been 25. That sucks. I wish i had an older sis.
"We clung on like barnacles on a boat even though the ship sinks you know you can't let go." -Modest Mouse |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| 41$ and dru |
|
|
| 02:27pm 10/02/2006 |
| |
mood:  cheerful
|
Denny's has been good the past few days, because i'm determined to make a lot. C.J., my manager said i did a good job yesterday. I like waitressing. After a few more months, i'll try a fancy resturant or something. :)
But ya. My dad has been letting me drive home from work in his big work van. Its fun to stear such a massive thing.
I hate it when someone close is so mean to you, they almost make you cry every time their mean to you.
<3 Mitch from work is hot. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| I'm sleeping with my clothes on... |
|
|
| 01:31pm 07/02/2006 |
| |
mood:  confused
|
I took my lip ring out. My rents were giving me too much hell. I wanted to rebell and have them pay attention to me. Now they wont leave me alone and i have to stay home today so they can talk to me. Blah. Great. I love talks with my parents. They help so much.
But ya. school sucks and so do most of the ppl there.
c ya. wouldn't want to be ya. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| ABCs of intrests |
|
|
| 02:17pm 02/02/2006 |
| |
mood: calm
|
A - Available?
yeah
B - BESTEST FRIENDS
Nicole, becca, jessie, bob
C - CRUSH:
the hot waiter at dennys
D-Dads Name:
Joseph Timothy (Tim)
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO:
my bro
F - FAVORITE BAND?
Modest Mouse
G - GUMMY BEARS OR WORMs:
Sour Gummy worms
H - HOMETOWN:
North Richland Hills, texas
I - IF YOU COULD MOVE WOULD YOU?
ya, it'd be nice
K - KIDS?
maybe when i'm 40, but i doubt it
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE:
Angelo to el Paso
M - MILK :
disgusting
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS:
2
O - ONE WISH:
i could get my mind to clear and get shit sorted out
P-PHOBIAS :
black birds
Q - FAVORITE QUOTE:
"We are all just hummingbirds that are just not willing to move." - Modest Mouse 'Bury me with it'
R - Reason to be alive:
theres so many, friends, food, sex, drugs, cats, family, indonesian kids
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD:
that "dont rock the boat baby" song
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP:
6:40 am
U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME:
i was a cat in a past life
V - VEGETABLE YOU LOVE:
black olives
W - WORST HABIT:
laziness- i'm working on it, i quit smoking
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD:
teeth
Z - ZODIAC SIGN:
Capricorn |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Cheat on your man thats how you get ahizz-ed |
|
|
| 01:52pm 30/01/2006 |
| |
mood: contemplative
|
I miss my bro.
I'm retarded from 2nd hand smoke.
I hate Denny's.
I hate liking more then one person.
I'm starting to like more and more rap.
I'm starting to want to eat less and less.
The people at Nathans Saturday night are awesome.
Nicole you should have stayed. You turd.
<3 me |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
gardenoflillies's journal